Oh hello there world, it's Tam here checking in rising from the depths of chaos that is a childcare-less holiday life in which sign ups for Life Book are EXPLODING, emails are backing up, I am super sleep deprived and crabby (at times) yet want to fall to my knees daily in deep gratitude of it all.
My life; it's amazing, and blessed and also has its hard and out of control bits. I'm writing this at 5am, because; without childcare nor any other family support: thereisnotime thereisnotime there. is. no. time. But I am so glad that that is one of my only worries.
If Iook at what other people struggle with in life (hello Syria, hello Sandy Hook to name only 2 extreme tragedies) and I know how incredibly blessed I am. :) that's not to say that any of my "suffering" is less real. I just know how to put it perspective and move on again.
But let me paint you a picture: who would've thought that little children catch viruses and colds this often? I don't think we've had an illness free hour in the last 2 months or so. And illnesses with little kids is not just 'oh a little bit sick no problem', no, it's: 'omgoddoom nosleep, whiny difficult children omgoddoom sort of thing'.
And who would've thought that 2 little children make this much noise making it impossible for me to have a normal conversation with my husband. One morning, I kid you not, I was trying to talk to Andy about the curtains for the new house (I know, we've become incredibly domesticated, but mostly, we are concerned with curtains because the house doesn't have double glazing so cold cold cold), anyhoo, I was trying to talk to him about curtains while I had Dylan screaming in one ear and Elliot in the other. It depressed me SO much that I couldn't even just talk to him for 5 minutes about curtains (let alone about how he is doing or how much I love him ...) that I started sobbing and shouted: "WHY WON'T THEY LET ME TALK TO YOU?!!!!!"
So yes, my life is blessed and awesome is so many ways, and also: I just need break from this kid malarkey. We don't have any family nearby so we never have any support apart from childcare and she is away for the holidays, for us, it's just non-stop; work, kids, sleep, work, kids, sleep. Neither Andy nor I ever get to just anything for ourselves and then when we ARE with the kids, it's usually hard (it's ALSO fun, but it's also HARD).
And again: for this to be my only 'problem' means I am deeply lucky. :) But if any of you want to babysit for let's say 5 weeks, I will worship you forever. ;)
So, now that I've covered the parenting pains: amazing amazingness is happening in Life Book land: we almost have 1200 people signed up! Can I hear a "holy cow"!!? It IS all holy and sacred, we are going to be making miracles all year, I'm SO happy and so excited about Life Book 2013. Wowowowowo. :D Thank you to all of you who have signed up: I love YOU! :D And of course: if you want to join in on this fantastic course make sure to sign up here.
I've been thinking about my word for next year, and the word 'health' keeps coming up for me. I really want to tackle my physical health in a radical (yet healthy/ positive) way and I'll be running an art/ health course early next year too, and I'm going to make next year all about my health, physical, mental, emotional. Yay. :) I'm ready.
Also: elephant girls. They've been coming to me in my art, a lot. Lookit:
First there was she. I love her. The kindness in her eyes makes me feel safe.
She has piggy, cat and bunny rabbit girlfriends. :) I love them too.
Then I loved the elephant girl so much, I wanted to make a 3d version of her.
She was made out of creative paper clay, which is awesome stuff.
Here she is wearing a poncho. :)
Then I wanted to draw bunny rabbits, pigs and elephants and girls, again!
And then, this one came through only yesterday, based on another painting of mine 'Lady with Roses' I wanted to make an 'Elephant Girl with Roses' and I'm so in love with this one. So in love. :)
Christmas was fun because it's Dylan's first year he's actually vaguely understanding the concept. He loved opening presents (and telling everyone before they opened theirs what was in their present, lol).
I will leave you with some recent pics of the brood who both drive me crazy and to the edge of blissful love.
I wish you all a fabulous new year, may it bring you joy, abundance, love, self acceptance and a groundedness in the now. I send you love, truly.
And don't forget beautiful people: